Bunny Secrets
by Ish
Summary: Kumagorou is an excellent secret keeper. Ryuichi/Tatsuha


**Title:** Bunny Secrets

**Author:** Ish

Kumagorou may only be a stuffed rabbit, but it's been around long enough to know that there were a few things about Sakuma Ryuichi that weren't going to make it into any magazine or TV interview.

One of Ryuichi's greatest fears is having people laugh at him when he's being serious. That's why he's never serious – well, except for when he's singing, but no one laughs then. Tatsuha laughs sometimes, but that doesn't count either because Ryuichi always end up laughing with him.

Although Ryuichi loves his family, he doesn't always like them very much. He understands, though – when you're in your sixties and your only son is a middle-aged (unmarried) rockstar, it's natural to worry about him. He reminds Tatsuha that it's hard to be a parent, let alone having to be both of them, when the teen begins to grumble too much over Uesugi-san's parenting. Ryuichi's old enough now to recognize that sad look on the elder monk's face when the children rush in and right back out, and the gap between one and the other always seems to grow wider.

Nittle Grasper's vocalist is a brand whore. He doesn't mind that those ripped-in-strategic-locations jeans cost him more than most people make in a month. He has the money. When your career includes shaking your ass in front of thousands of screaming fans, it's nice to have that little status tag clinging to a back cheek. Ryuichi loves it. And besides, when he smirks and tells Tatsuha just how much that sweatshirt grey tee that's now on the other side of the room cost, that wide-eyed look of astonishment on the boy's face is priceless.

Ryuichi is ruthless. No one stands in his way – at least not for long. The top slot wasn't given to Nittle Grasper; they had to bite and claw and tear their way to it. No way was he just going to hand it over to anyone. Shuichi would earn his own place, or end up in front of a car of his own – metaphorically speaking, of course. Objects in Ryuichi's way didn't remain intact. The vocalist had lost track of the number of Tatsuha's clothes he'd had to replace after ruining them.

Despite having professionals apply his make-up before official showings, Ryuichi's still careful to remember to put on a light application of foundation in the morning. He actually dislikes wearing make-up, but it wouldn't do to get caught out on a particularly rough day by some lucky photographer. Tatsuha tries to make him forget, though; he loves the smile lines that are just beginning to crinkle on the sides of the rockstar's eyes and thinks it's a shame to have them covered up.

Being with Tatsuha probably makes him a pedophile, at least by legal standards. But seeing the teen's long legs covered in the black slacks of his school uniform, the bit of gold-toned flesh peeping out because the top button of the white shirt is missing… Those things get Ryuichi so hard he can't think straight. Anyways, Tohma employs people to keep those sorts of dirty little secrets covered up, and he wouldn't risk letting his best friend (and at least as importantly, his best product) be killed by an angry Uesugi clan.

Ryuichi knows damned well that Kumagorou's not real. It's (he's) a stuffed pink plushie, after all. But the game is far too much fun to end and, besides, it tricks people into underestimating him. If he still gets jealous when Tatsuha falls asleep with the rabbit cradled in his arms, that's only because even he's allowed a flight of fantasy or two every now and then. And if, on occasion, he could swear the bunny's smirking at him, it's only the after-effect of too much work, way too much alcohol, and too little sleep.

Being a musical genius isn't worth shit in this business, and no one knows that better than Ryuichi. So he sweats blood into his lyrics and lives on water and throat drops during long concert tours, plays the press like a mad glissando on a fretless guitar, works out when he's not writing music because he's not as young as he used to be and those abs aren't going to maintain themselves, and throws the occasional yen to Buddha in gratitude that his bandmates are just as dedicated and merciless as he is. He's never asked Tatsuha to make any sort of special prayer for him, but it keeps him going to know that the young monk whispers one on their nights together, lips moving faintly against shaggy brown hair as the rock star is dragged into sleep.

He knows that he's a great singer - one of the best even - but Ryuichi doesn't harbor any illusions that he's a good person. He's manipulative, jealous, and selfish as hell. That's why he succeeds, and how he keeps the public in love with him. He's not sure what keeps Tatsuha at his side, but whatever it is, he's thankful for it. He's quite familiar with his own moral deficiencies, but he's never known someone willing to give so much of himself as the teen. The teen joked once that if he prayed for the devil, even he could get into heaven but Ryuichi believes it, so maybe he has a shot at it himself.

Ryuichi's got his share of secrets, but he isn't about to advertise them. As for Kuma's lips on that matter, they're sealed.


End file.
